SERVICES & APPROACH
Therapy for the places where things keep getting stuck.
I work with adults and couples on relationship difficulties, trauma, depression, anxiety and mood concerns. I use different approaches depending on what you bring, rather than running everyone through the same method.
Couples Therapy
When the same conversation keeps happening
Most couples arrive feeling caught in a pattern. The subject changes. The argument underneath it does not.
You may feel unheard, or criticized, or simply distant, and unable to have a conversation that does not escalate within ten minutes.
I use Imago Relationship Therapy, which is different from what most therapists in this part of the country do. What sets Imago apart from other couples’ work is that Imago goes underneath what is on the surface. It starts from the observation that we tend to choose partners who are unusually good at reopening our oldest wounds, which sounds bleak and is actually the opposite, because it means the conflict you are stuck in is where the repair is available.
In practice, much of the work happens through a structured conversation. One of you speaks. The other reflects back what they heard, checks it makes sense from your side, then sits with the feeling underneath. Then you swap. It is deliberately slow, and the slowness is what stops the escalation.
For many couples it is the first time in years they have properly heard each other.
This tends to help with:
- Recurring conflict
- Communication that escalates
- Emotional distance
- Trust and repair after a breach
- Marital and premarital concerns
- Decisions about separation or divorce
- Adjusting when the relationship changes shape
The aim is not to establish who is right. It is to understand what is happening between you, and what needs to change.
EMDR & Trauma Therapy
When something from the past is still present
Some memories do not file themselves properly. Ordinary ones fade and settle. Difficult ones can stay raw, so that a smell, a tone of voice or a particular room brings the whole thing back as though it were happening now.
EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. The name is a mouthful and the method sounds strange until you understand what it is doing. You hold the memory in mind while following a back and forth movement or sound, which helps your brain finish processing what it could not process at the time.It sounds odd.
It works, and it is well evidenced.
How long it takes
Less time than most people expect. A single difficult event can often be worked through in a handful of sessions. Longer histories take longer. Either way, this is not open-ended work, and we will talk early about roughly what it is likely to involve.
We do not start on day one
There is preparation first, so that you have what you need before we go anywhere difficult. Nothing happens at a pace you have not agreed to.
The aim is not to erase what happened. It is to loosen its hold on your present life.
Individual Therapy
Sometimes the problem is easy to name. Sometimes it is not.
You may be depressed, anxious, grieving, or stuck in a relationship pattern you can see and cannot change. Or you may simply have a persistent sense that something is not working and no clear account of why.
Either is a fine place to start. A good deal of my individual work begins with the second one.
I draw on cognitive behavioral, relational, interpersonal and trauma focused approaches depending on what fits. What stays constant is that we are working towards something rather than talking indefinitely.
I work with adults on
- Depression and mood disorders
- Anxiety
- Trauma and PTSD
- Grief and loss
- Self esteem
- Codependency and boundaries
- Relationship difficulties
- Alcohol and substance use
- Divorce and major transitions
I work with veterans, with clients from LGBTQ+ communities, and with people in polyamorous and ethically non-monogamous relationships.
I see adults only. I do not work with children or adolescents, and I do not do custody evaluations or forensic assessments. If what you need is outside what I do, I will tell you early and refer you to resources that will better meet your needs.
How I work
Different problems need different approaches.
Depending on what you bring, I may work from EMDR, Imago, cognitive behavioral, relational, interpersonal, marital or trauma focused therapy.
What stays the same is that the work should have a direction. We look at what is happening now, what is feeding it, and what would actually help.
Not sure which of these fits what you are dealing with?
You do not have to work that out before you call.
That is part of what the first conversation is for.
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